Romance and friendship scams
Everything isn’t always as it seems when love is in the air. Here’s how to tell if your online Valentine or new ‘friend’ may be a romance scammer trying to steal your money – with tips on how to protect your cash and your heart.
About romance and friendship scams
A romance or friendship scam is a type of payment scam. Someone tries to gain your trust and trick you into giving them money – or investing in a scheme that promises to make you money but is actually a way for them to steal your funds.
It usually starts with an unexpected message or friend request on social media, online games or dating apps.
Common signs of this scam
You may be caught up in a romance, friendship or dating scam if the other person:
- Quickly professes their love or admiration for you
- Wants to move the relationship to the next level quickly, e.g. proposing within a short time
- Has a heart-wrenching story or compelling reason to borrow money – often starting with small amounts
- Constantly gives excuses why they can’t meet in person
- Has their camera off or image blurred if you video call
- Asks you to leave the site you met them on and use email or a messaging service like WhatsApp
- Claims to be working overseas or in a remote location like an oil rig or military post
- Seems like your perfect match.
You may only notice one or two of these signs.
Top tips to keep yourself safe
Romance scams can happen to anyone, so be cautious when interacting with people online.
Trust your instincts. If you feel uneasy or unsure about any payment requests from an online friend or partner, or your relationship with them, talk to a trusted family member or friend.
How to avoid this scam
- Never send money, gifts or gift cards to someone you haven’t met in person
- If the person always has excuses for not meeting in person or on a video call, cut all contact
- Never invest in something that you don’t understand, or haven’t done your own research on
- Never open an account or move money for someone you’ve met online
- Ignore requests for money, even if their reason touches your heart – this is a common tactic for scammers.
Do your own research – don't trust your heart
Think you know your online friend or Valentine? Here’s how to double-check:
- Search their name and the word ‘scam’ to see if they’ve been identified by scam victims
- Do a reverse image search on any photos to see if it’s been taken from someone else
- Does everything they say match up? Watch for any differences in your conversations – and if what they say matches their online information.
Know who you’re really paying with Confirmation of Payee
To help you avoid payment scams, New Zealand banks are rolling out the Confirmation of Payee service. It gives you an extra layer of protection before you send money to someone you’ve met online.
For online payments within Aotearoa, Confirmation of Payee allows you to check the name of the person or business matches the account name entered. If the bank notification says the names don’t match, it could be a red flag. But it’s also essential to stay vigilant and do your own research.
Overseas payments won’t be checked. So, if your online sweetheart wants you to send money to an overseas account, stop and think.
If in doubt, call us
If you think you’ve been a victim of fraud (or there’s a chance you might be), or if you notice anything out of the ordinary with your accounts or online banking, call us immediately so we can help to protect your banking.
From overseas: +64 4 470 3142 (charges may apply).